Comedy katta

Best jokes ever  Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope .    The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and Id like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. Ill see you back in court Monday."  On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."  "Seventeen people? Thats wonderful. How did you do it? " "I used a diagram, your honor . I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs." "Thats admirable," says the judge.   Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."  "Wow!" says the judge.  "1...

  1)best funny jokes  One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church.   Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Evil was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't ...

An office manager was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of rsums he found four people who were equally qualifie An American, an Indian, a European and a Nigerian. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answers would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked:"What is the fastest thing you know of?"The American on his right replied, " A THOUGHT. It just pops into your head. There's no warning that it's on the way, it's just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of" "That's very good!" replied the interviewer. "And now you sir?" He asked the Indian. "Hmm... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of." "Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The bli...

1) situational funny jokes  Very Costly Mistake A man got this message from his neighbour; "Sir, I am so sorry but I have this confession to make. I have been sharing your wife with you behind your back day and night and mostly when you are not in town. I have used your wife in my kitchen, bedroom, parlour and also in your own apartment and at times right under your nose. I have to also admit that I have used your wife more than you do . I feel I should let you know cause I feel so guilty. I promise never to do it again". The man was so mad that he shot his wife dead! Few minutes later he received another message from the same neighbour stating;  "So sorry for the spelling mistake. I meant to write WIFI and not WIFE!" If you were the husband, what will you do? 😀😁😁😃😃😄😀😁😃😄😄😀😁😃😄 ============================================== 2) funny jokes of lover's  I Love Your Wife Jack came home early from office. He was shocked to see his wife with hi...

1) Funny jokes  Mathematical Problem In secondary school, I was very poor in maths. During exams, I'd get between 2% and 8%. The results used to be announced sequentially, that is from the lowest to the highest marks. So I would always be the first or second to be called out. One day, the maths results were announced and my name wasn't among the first to be called out.The teacher got to 30%, 40%, 50%, 60% and 70%, still my paper had not been called out. Everyone in the class kept looking at me asking, "Guy what's up? How did you pass this exam?" By the time the teacher got to 80%, I was already grinning in excitement. When he got to 90%, he had only one paper remaining. I then asked myself, could I have scored 90% in maths? I was feeling very anxious and happy now. I thought my dreams have been answered. The whole class was amazed as everyone kept looking at me. It was unbelievable. Finally the teacher looked up and said, " A stupid student here did ...

1) Funniest jokes  An elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about never knowing where he was or sometimes even who he was. She took him to a nursing home. At the nursing home, while the wife was filling out paperwork, a nurse had the gentleman sit in a chair. Suddenly the man starting slowly leaning to his left. The nurse ran over and put a pillow on his left side to prop him up.A few minutes later, he started leaning to his right.Again, the nurse ran over and put a pillow on his right side.Then he starting leaning forward.This time, the nurse strapped him into the chair. About this time, his wife, having completed the paperwork, walked up to him and asked, "How do you like the place?" "It's okay," he said. " But, they won't let me fart!" 😃😀😄😁😃😀😄😁😃😀😄😁😃😄😁============================================ 2) Funnies...

  1)Funny jokes  Brother in law GOD Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting, reassured him by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun. "I'm afraid I cannot, Sister." "Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun questioned sternly. "Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun." "Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God." "Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please...

10 October, World Mental Health Day:  The Rock(Dwayne Johnson), Naomi Osaka and Michael Phelps have also fought with depression, know the formula to win the mind from these In this period of digital revolution, the problems of mental health are increasing rapidly. Be it teenagers or big celebrities, no one is spared from the problem of mental health. According to a report by International Organization data, there are 33 crore people in the grip of depression at the same time in the world. Today, on the occasion of Mental Health Day, know the stories of those celebrities who fought the problem of mental health and gave the world the formula to get rid of the problem of mental health. Dwayne Johnson: Saw his mother trying to commit suicide in childhood, which will never be forgotten Dwayne Johnson...whom the world knows as The Rock. He is the fourth richest celebrity in the world. Rock's childhood was spent in poverty. When Rock was 15, his mother attempted suicide, which he...

1) situational funny comedy   Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.   Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.  "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.   If anyone of you can ask me a question which I dont know or cannot answer, then youre worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then youll come with me to Hell."   The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates Socrates teachings."   With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.   The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.   "Then, go to Hell!"   With another snap of his finger, the philsopher di...

 Although we hear, a lot of opinions about interest rates, and their trends and effects, very few understand the importance and importance/relevance of these rates in many areas of our lives! After many decades of involvement in political campaigns, leadership, leadership training/planning, real estate, financial sales and consulting, etc., I firmly believed, a gain, from understanding, about these and how they affect, many things , in our lives! Whether related to personal, organizational, and/or, public finance/expenses, home ownership and related costs, credit related issues, business matters, stock and bond pricing, etc., interest rates are, indeed, significantly , matters! With that in mind, this article will attempt to consider, examine, review, and discuss, briefly, 5 of these areas, and how cost of money makes a significant difference 1. Bond Prices and Interest Rates: Bond prices are usually the opposite - related to interest rates! When these rates go down, prices go up,...

1) Funny jokes (T wo migrants)  A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks him would you like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. But the Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer,I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Programmer, now so more agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you$50!" This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this tormentunless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Programmer asks the first question. "Wh...

1) Funny jokes  (african comedy)  Man cannot destroy all bees because of one bee bite - Kenyan proverb She would be a foolish cow who would be happy to be taken to a beautiful slaughterhouse. - Zambian proverb No matter how high an eagle flies in the sky, it will surely descend to eat food - Zimbabwean proverb An army of sheep led by a lion can defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Ghanaian proverb The anus does not teach the mouth the sweetness of food - South African proverb The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who cultivates corn by the side of the road, both have the same problem - Ethiopian proverb A little man is not a boy - Nigerian proverb No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot cook - Nigerian proverb It takes great care to kill a fly sitting on the scrotum - Ghanaian proverb If the throat can allow the knife to go in, the anus has to figure out how to get it out - South-African proverb A goat's rebellion can't stop it from being tak...

1) Funniest jokes (lady & priste)  There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties. It's not proper to walk around without any panties on." The girl goes home and gives the money to her mother and asks her mother to buy panties for her. When the mother asks where the girl got the money, the girl explained what happened. Upon hearing how the girl got the money, the mother rushes to her room, whips off her panties, and puts on one of her shortest dress  and runs out to the  church. As soon as the mother sees the priest coming, she begins to walk up the stairs. The priest then notices the lady and calls her down.The woman not wanting to show that she is expecting anything, walks back to the priest very calmly. The priest hands the lady $1 and says....