Situational jokes of three persons
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.
Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I dont know or cannot answer, then youre worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then youll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates Socrates teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philsopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked,"Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right." "Wrong," said the idiot, "its from my asshole." And the idiot went to heaven.
😁😄😄😃😀😁😄😃😀😁😄😃😀
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2) Drunks funny jokes
A policeman and drunk
A police officer pulls over this guy whos been weaving in and out of the lanes.
He goes up to the guys window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I cant do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, Ill have a really bad asthma attack."
"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I cant do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, Ill bleed to death."
"Well, then, we need a urine sample." "Im sorry, officer, I cant do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, Ill get really low blood sugar."
"All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I cant do that, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because Im drunk."said the drunk Swingingly.
😀😃😄😁
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