Surrogate Father (situational funny jokes)
1) Best funny jokes
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the surrogate father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon "
Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, madam. I've come to....
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really? "
The photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of babies "
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat "
After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start? "
Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out! "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.
"My, that's a lot of. " gasped Mrs. Smith."
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that,
I'm sure " "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my God! " Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief."
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult? " asked Mrs. Smith".
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look
"Four and five deep? " asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in. "
"Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your, um..equipment?
That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we can get to work. "
"Tripod????? "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam?... Good Lord, she's fainted!! "
😄😃😀😀😄😃😀😀🤗😁😃😀😀😀😀Unhappy Husband
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors.
Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably...
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